Welcome to day one of your period. The egg you produced during your last cycle was not fertilised, no hormones are being triggered by a new pregnancy, and the lining of the uterus is breaking down to produce your period.
Overall, you feel like someone wiped their feet on you and then hung you out to dry.
You’ve kicked the cat (albeit accidentally) on the way down the stairs to grab two period painkillers, and curse the day you picked the sweet little champagne tabby that now blends so well with your wheat coloured carpet.
Thinking about the day ahead just makes the cramps worse and you can barely face breakfast. You crawl to the shower and let scalding hot water pound your lower back.
One hour later and ‘Ahhh….’, the painkillers have kicked in offering sweet relief. You are your charming self…until they wear off of course.
You tuck a packet of the magic pills in your handbag and head for work.
By day seven your period is over and the ovaries prepare another egg. Around day 14 it is released into the fallopian tube. Sperm meets egg and voila…conception.
The fertilised egg beds itself down in the lining of the uterus, puts out the sold sign and starts planning the house-warming party.
You may experience spotting, but the anticipated period fails to arrive. You are now two weeks pregnant, but to confuse matters this is referred to by doctors as four weeks.
For medical purposes pregnancy is calculated from the date your last menstrual period (LMP) started.
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